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I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.

Ellen DeGeneres

I know that experts say you’re more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn’t make me any less frightened of flying. If anything, it makes me more afraid of crossing the street.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Experts Flying Frightened Hurt Less
I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men School Texas
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Inspirational
If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Saying Thank Weird
So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Government Mean Sarcasm
Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Gay Hilarious Judging
When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Embrace Feel Feminine People
I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I’ve started a record label, so I get to nurture new talent and talk about music, which is a passion of mine. I’ve written another book. And I get to come to work and do the TV show, which is always really fun.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Book Fun Passion Talk
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Party Streamers Wall
I don’t consider myself an interviewer as much as an entertainer.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Consider Entertainers Interviewer Much
I was coming home from kindergarten – well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Home Humor
This is my real secret to being a joyful person: I make my life easy. I spend more time being grateful for what I have instead of focusing on what isn’t working. I no longer believe that people have to do things my way and that I have to be perfect.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Believe Grateful Real
I think gender plays a part in most things, but I don’t know how it would be different because I’ve never been a man. And my fame is different from Nicole Kidman’s or Sharon Stone’s. I think everybody’s fame is different.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men Play Thinking
There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don’t even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I would be able to play golf which I don’t seem to have time now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Anymore Golf Jobs Running Understand
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Car Room Rooms Tiny
Beauty isn’t between a size zero and a size eight, it is not a number at all. It is not physical.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Eight Numbers Physical Zero

I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.

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I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.

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Popular Authors

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