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  • Dave Attell Quote - I’m not the comic of the generation, I’m not even the funniest guy in my family.
  • Dave Attell Quote - I’m not the comic of the generation, I’m not even the funniest guy in my family.
  • Dave Attell Quote - I’m not the comic of the generation, I’m not even the funniest guy in my family.
  • Dave Attell Quote - I’m not the comic of the generation, I’m not even the funniest guy in my family.
  • Dave Attell Quote - I’m not the comic of the generation, I’m not even the funniest guy in my family.
  • Dave Attell Quote - I’m not the comic of the generation, I’m not even the funniest guy in my family.
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I’m not the comic of the generation, I’m not even the funniest guy in my family.

Dave Attell

More Dave Attell Quotes

  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I don’t have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that’s not what I said!

    I don’t have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that’s not what I said!

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I’m not an actor though, so I don’t really have much choice in the matter. Download This Image

    I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I’m not an actor though, so I don’t really have much choice in the matter.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I love Fear Factor, but I think they’re running out of fears. It’s only a matter of time before they’re sitting around doing shots of Hepatitis C.

    I love Fear Factor, but I think they’re running out of fears. It’s only a matter of time before they’re sitting around doing shots of Hepatitis C.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you will try to look up Hitler in the phone book.

    If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you will try to look up Hitler in the phone book.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - Pre-mature ejaculation. Let’s talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That’s a pretty fancy term for, “Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before.” Download This Image

    Pre-mature ejaculation. Let’s talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That’s a pretty fancy term for, “Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before.”

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that’s about it. Download This Image

    A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that’s about it.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - There’s a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you’re looking in a window. I’ll give you a hint: one of ’em is super illegal.

    There’s a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you’re looking in a window. I’ll give you a hint: one of ’em is super illegal.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno! Download This Image

    Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what’s going on. Download This Image

    I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what’s going on.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - Alright, how do we make the electric chair worse? How about this? They have to pedal a car battery to their own head. Is that ok? Is that enough, Mr. Hitler?

    Alright, how do we make the electric chair worse? How about this? They have to pedal a car battery to their own head. Is that ok? Is that enough, Mr. Hitler?

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. “Hello. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? That sea otters have four nipples? Wait – don’t run away!”

    The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. “Hello. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? That sea otters have four nipples? Wait – don’t run away!”

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - A joke is a joke, and people put too much meaning behind it. They react to it in the wrong way. I mean, you can boo or laugh, and that’s pretty much what you’re supposed to do with jokes. You’re not supposed to take it any further than that.

    A joke is a joke, and people put too much meaning behind it. They react to it in the wrong way. I mean, you can boo or laugh, and that’s pretty much what you’re supposed to do with jokes. You’re not supposed to take it any further than that.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I’m a joke comic. I tell jokes.

    I’m a joke comic. I tell jokes.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I’ve never had a surprise birthday party. I’ve had every other type of surprise. I’ve had surprise beatings, surprise drug tests, surprise daughter I think.

    I’ve never had a surprise birthday party. I’ve had every other type of surprise. I’ve had surprise beatings, surprise drug tests, surprise daughter I think.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - The voice in my head has a stutter, and that’s really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa… Write it down!

    The voice in my head has a stutter, and that’s really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa… Write it down!

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I’m not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn’t like it, other scarier voice in my head! ‘Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times. Download This Image

    I’m not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn’t like it, other scarier voice in my head! ‘Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.

    DAVE ATTELL