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  • Dave Attell Quote - Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?
  • Dave Attell Quote - Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?
  • Dave Attell Quote - Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?
  • Dave Attell Quote - Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?
  • Dave Attell Quote - Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?
  • Dave Attell Quote - Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?
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Are you shooting webs of stupid at me?

Dave Attell

More Dave Attell Quotes

  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I’m a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it’s what I’ve been doing and it’s what I’m going to keep doing. Download This Image

    I’m a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it’s what I’ve been doing and it’s what I’m going to keep doing.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don’t know what happened to them. That’s the crowd that I like, the ones that don’t get so offended just to be offended. Download This Image

    For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don’t know what happened to them. That’s the crowd that I like, the ones that don’t get so offended just to be offended.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I never wanted to be famous.

    I never wanted to be famous.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. “Hello. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? That sea otters have four nipples? Wait – don’t run away!”

    The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. “Hello. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? That sea otters have four nipples? Wait – don’t run away!”

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I’ll tell you ladies: it’s amazing.

    My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I’ll tell you ladies: it’s amazing.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I’m not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn’t like it, other scarier voice in my head! ‘Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times. Download This Image

    I’m not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN’T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn’t like it, other scarier voice in my head! ‘Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I hang out with my dad mostly, my dad was in the military. He’s at that age now where his war stories and other stories have blended together, so now you don’t know what he’s talking about.

    I hang out with my dad mostly, my dad was in the military. He’s at that age now where his war stories and other stories have blended together, so now you don’t know what he’s talking about.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - There’s a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you’re looking in a window. I’ll give you a hint: one of ’em is super illegal.

    There’s a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you’re looking in a window. I’ll give you a hint: one of ’em is super illegal.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - A joke is a joke, and people put too much meaning behind it. They react to it in the wrong way. I mean, you can boo or laugh, and that’s pretty much what you’re supposed to do with jokes. You’re not supposed to take it any further than that.

    A joke is a joke, and people put too much meaning behind it. They react to it in the wrong way. I mean, you can boo or laugh, and that’s pretty much what you’re supposed to do with jokes. You’re not supposed to take it any further than that.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I don’t have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that’s not what I said!

    I don’t have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that’s not what I said!

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - Alright, how do we make the electric chair worse? How about this? They have to pedal a car battery to their own head. Is that ok? Is that enough, Mr. Hitler?

    Alright, how do we make the electric chair worse? How about this? They have to pedal a car battery to their own head. Is that ok? Is that enough, Mr. Hitler?

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - The voice in my head has a stutter, and that’s really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa… Write it down!

    The voice in my head has a stutter, and that’s really annoying. D-D-D-Dave Dave. What? K-K-K-Kill your p-p-p-parents. L-L-L-Loa… Write it down!

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what’s going on. Download This Image

    I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what’s going on.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - Don’t get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can’t get away.

    Don’t get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can’t get away.

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno! Download This Image

    Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!

    DAVE ATTELL
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Dave Attell Quote - If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you will try to look up Hitler in the phone book.

    If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you will try to look up Hitler in the phone book.

    DAVE ATTELL