I’m a joke comic. I tell jokes.
DAVE ATTELLI’m not like a performer type.
More Dave Attell Quotes
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I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what’s going on.
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I don’t mind a crowd’s not laughing; it’s the groans that slow down the show.
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A joke is a joke, and people put too much meaning behind it. They react to it in the wrong way. I mean, you can boo or laugh, and that’s pretty much what you’re supposed to do with jokes. You’re not supposed to take it any further than that.
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I’m not the comic of the generation, I’m not even the funniest guy in my family.
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Jesse Joyce is a great writer.
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I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials. I’m not an actor though, so I don’t really have much choice in the matter.
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I love Fear Factor, but I think they’re running out of fears. It’s only a matter of time before they’re sitting around doing shots of Hepatitis C.
DAVE ATTELL -
I’m a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it’s what I’ve been doing and it’s what I’m going to keep doing.
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So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly ’cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
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I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.
DAVE ATTELL -
I’m not like a performer type.
DAVE ATTELL -
Alright, how do we make the electric chair worse? How about this? They have to pedal a car battery to their own head. Is that ok? Is that enough, Mr. Hitler?
DAVE ATTELL -
Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!
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Don’t get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can’t get away.
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Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.
DAVE ATTELL