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In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.

Brenda Shoshanna

our joy and satisfaction comes from doing each action with a whole heart and mind. Results and consequences then take care of themselves. When you are not absorbed by concern for outcomes, how much anxiety can you ever have?
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Absorb Attention Result Themselves
When we sit, we open our own treasure house. Rather than do this, however, most of us first seek to find the treasures another person can provide.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

House Relationship Treasure
Do not make this practice a source of pressure, compulsion, anxiety or pride. It is none of these. Zazen is simply a way to find your true home.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Home Practice Pride
This is how we know we are in a loving relationship. We are blooming, and the one we love is blooming as well.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Blooming Love Loving Relationship
Consider for a moment what you pay attention to all day long. What seems important to you, what do you take for granted and hardly attend to at all? Write it down. Do not judge your answers.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Honesty Simple Writing
In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Giving Relationship Time
The more we give attention to that which is upsetting, the more strength it has to rule our lives.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Lived More Rule Strength
Now today, moment by moment, realize that each person and event that happens is life for you. Life is not somewhere else. See how fully you can accept the life that presents itself to you now.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Else Events Somewhere Today
It is a mistake to expect all of our needs to be met by one person or in one relationship. Honor and be grateful for that which you receive.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Mistake Relationship Time
The sense that my world is stable and stationary, that change will never come and that all will go on continuously as it is, is the nature of all delusion.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Change Goes Nature
Don’t become bitter and spend all your time focusing on that which the person is not able to provide.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Focusing Person Provide Time
From the Zen view all beings are in the grip of the three poisons, greed, anger and delusion (ignorance).
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Anger Ignorance Views
What we pay attention to expands. What we pay attention to we become.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Attention Become Expand Pay
When we are in a truly loving relationship, we receive the gift of being known and accepted. We become more, not less, of who we are.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Love Relationship Space
A time of uncertainty, of not knowing exactly where we’re headed, or what kind of choice to make is a Zen moment.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Choices Knowing Time
We calculate their value to us. When we approach relationships in this manner, we are coming as beggars, seeing the other as a source of supply.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Beggar Coming Relationship Source Supply

In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.

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In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.

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