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It is a mistake to expect all of our needs to be met by one person or in one relationship. Honor and be grateful for that which you receive.

Brenda Shoshanna

Fear of the future and longing for the past are major factors which impede appropriate action.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Action Future Past
What we pay attention to expands. What we pay attention to we become.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Attention Become Expand Pay
Don’t become bitter and spend all your time focusing on that which the person is not able to provide.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Focusing Person Provide Time
Now today, moment by moment, realize that each person and event that happens is life for you. Life is not somewhere else. See how fully you can accept the life that presents itself to you now.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Else Events Somewhere Today
Do not make this practice a source of pressure, compulsion, anxiety or pride. It is none of these. Zazen is simply a way to find your true home.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Home Practice Pride
We calculate their value to us. When we approach relationships in this manner, we are coming as beggars, seeing the other as a source of supply.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Beggar Coming Relationship Source Supply
From the Zen view all beings are in the grip of the three poisons, greed, anger and delusion (ignorance).
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Anger Ignorance Views
The more we give attention to that which is upsetting, the more strength it has to rule our lives.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Lived More Rule Strength
A time of uncertainty, of not knowing exactly where we’re headed, or what kind of choice to make is a Zen moment.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Choices Knowing Time
If one’s sense of self is obtained through the eyes of another it is always subject to being lost.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Eye Lost Self Sense
Who you are is always enough. If your partner wants something different, it does not reflect upon you, but upon their needs and fantasies.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Different People Something Want
Be honest and simple. As you keep track all week long, you’ll be amazed at what claims your attention, what you give your precious life force to.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Amazed Honest Precious Simple
Relying on another is an expression of attachment, not love, a manifestation of insecurity and suffering, not understanding the true nature of our lives.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Attachment Love Nature
In a relationship if you are giving and getting nothing back in return, stop giving so much, and spend time being. Give to yourself, be who you are.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Giving Relationship Time
The sense that my world is stable and stationary, that change will never come and that all will go on continuously as it is, is the nature of all delusion.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Change Goes Nature
Consider for a moment what you pay attention to all day long. What seems important to you, what do you take for granted and hardly attend to at all? Write it down. Do not judge your answers.
BRENDA SHOSHANNA

Honesty Simple Writing

It is a mistake to expect all of our needs to be met by one person or in one relationship. Honor and be grateful for that which you receive.

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It is a mistake to expect all of our needs to be met by one person or in one relationship. Honor and be grateful for that which you receive.

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