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I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

Boris Johnson

I don’t believe that economic equality is possible; indeed some measure of inequality is essential for the spirit of envy and keeping up with the Joneses that is, like greed, a valuable spur to economic activity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Believe Envy Stress
Volunteering is also now more crucial than ever in helping people find work.
BORIS JOHNSON

Finding Help People Volunteer Work
It was the kind of blind, gulping, insensate greed that you associate with some milk-eyed creature in a volcanic fissure at the bottom of the Marianas Trench-an organism with no understanding of the existence, let alone the feelings, of other members of the ecosystem.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ecosystems Greed Understanding
It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.
BORIS JOHNSON

Appearance Believe Flip Human Wall
My ideal world is, we’re there, we’re in the EU, trying to make it better.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ideals Trying World
If we judged everybody by the stupid, unguarded things they blurt out to their nearest and dearest, then we wouldn’t ever get anywhere.
BORIS JOHNSON

Guard Judgment Stupidity
It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving picaninnies; and one can imagine that Blair, twice victor abroad but enmired at home, is similarly seduced by foreign politeness.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cheer Fall Queens
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.
BORIS JOHNSON

Chance Myself Opportunity
If gay marriage was OK … then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men; or indeed three men and a dog.
BORIS JOHNSON

Dog Man Marriage Principle Relationship
This is not a time to quail, it is not a crisis, nor should we see it as an excuse for wobbling or self-doubt. But it is a moment for hope.
BORIS JOHNSON

Crisis Hope Moments Time
Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.
BORIS JOHNSON

BMW Breast Voting Wife
I love swimming in rivers, and well remember once jumping in at Chiswick.
BORIS JOHNSON

Jump Love Swimming
When Cameron’s Conservatives come to power it will be a golden age for cyclists and an Elysium of cycle lanes, bike racks, and sharia law for bike thieves. And I hope that cycling in London will become almost Chinese in its ubiquity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservatism Cycle Gold Power
Hitler showed the evil that could be done by the art of rhetoric. Churchill showed how it could help to save humanity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Art Evil Humanity
It is easy to make promises – it is hard work to keep them.
BORIS JOHNSON

Easy Hard Promise Work
I have come to the conclusion that Tony Blair has finally gone mad … he made assertions that are so jaw-droppingly and breathtakingly at variance with reality that he surely needs professional psychiatric help.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conclusion Mad Need Professional Reality

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

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I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

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