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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

Boris Johnson

Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.
BORIS JOHNSON

Compassion Feet Sight
I think the risks that people see of terrorism are incredibly important but we are very confident we have got the right people on it and the risks have been minimised.
BORIS JOHNSON

People Risk Thinking
The Geiger-counter of Olympomania is going to go zoink off the scale.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Olympics People Scales
It is easy to make promises – it is hard work to keep them.
BORIS JOHNSON

Easy Hard Work Promise
I’d like thousands of schools as good as the one I went to, Eton.
BORIS JOHNSON

Education Goodness Myself
I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Interest Myself Pure Support
The mayors fund for London will be a streamlined vehicle for getting money from the wealth creating sector to communities across London that are facing hardship and deprivation and are the victims of crime.
BORIS JOHNSON

Community Creating Hardship
We did everything we could to break down barriers that restrain poorest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Break Poor Restrain
When Cameron’s Conservatives come to power it will be a golden age for cyclists and an Elysium of cycle lanes, bike racks, and sharia law for bike thieves. And I hope that cycling in London will become almost Chinese in its ubiquity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservatism Cycle Gold Power
You know, sometimes I don’t understand what’s wrong with us. This is just about the most creative and imaginative country on earth—and yet sometimes we just don’t seem to have the gumption to exploit our intellectual property.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Hands Jet/ Engines
David Lloyd George had been to Germany, and been so dazzled by the Führer that he compared him to George Washington. Hitler was a ‘born leader’, declared the befuddled former British Prime Minister.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Hero War
The volunteering spirit of Londoners is part of what makes this the best big city on earth.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cities Earth Volunteer
Life isn’t like coursework, baby. It’s one damn essay crisis after another.
BORIS JOHNSON

Crisis Essay Life Oneself
My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.
BORIS JOHNSON

Disaster Discover Friendship Myself Opportunity
The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition.
BORIS JOHNSON

Empty Surround Vast
Bring Harry home to Britain-and if you want a site with less rainfall than Rome, with excellent public transport, and strong connections to Harry Potter, I have just the place.
BORIS JOHNSON

Place Public Strong Transport

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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