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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

Boris Johnson

Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under.
BORIS JOHNSON

Compassion Feet Sight
Some people play the piano, some do Sudoku, some watch television, some people go out to dinner parties. I write books.
BORIS JOHNSON

Book People Play Watch
I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.
BORIS JOHNSON

Chance Finding Myself
We did everything we could to break down barriers that restrain poorest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Break Poor Restrain
The Geiger-counter of Olympomania is going to go zoink off the scale.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Olympics People Scales
Some people think that it [Brexit] is the end of the world. It’s not. On the contrary, it’s a massive opportunity for this country.
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Himself Massive Opportunity People Thinking
I don’t believe that economic equality is possible; indeed some measure of inequality is essential for the spirit of envy and keeping up with the Joneses that is, like greed, a valuable spur to economic activity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Believe Economy Equality Essential Myself Possible Value
Churchill decides from very early on that he will create a political position that is somehow above left and right, embodying the best points of both sides and thereby incarnating the will of the nation.
BORIS JOHNSON

Men Political Thinking
The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservatism Meat
Humanity would have plunged into a new dark age of absolutely frightening and appalling characteristics without Churchill.
BORIS JOHNSON

Age Character Darkness Humanity
They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.
BORIS JOHNSON

Break Country Out Pangas Shortly Warriors
It is easy to make promises – it is hard work to keep them.
BORIS JOHNSON

Easy Hard Promise Work
My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it.
BORIS JOHNSON

Birthday Cake Dessert
It is possible to have a pretty good life and career being a leech and a parasite in the media world, gadding about from TV studio to TV studio, writing inconsequential pieces and having a good time.
BORIS JOHNSON

Goodness Life Possible Pretty Time Writing
Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix and stay conscious.
BORIS JOHNSON

Growth Looks Trying
The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservative Meat Sausage

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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