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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

Boris Johnson

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.
BORIS JOHNSON

Becoming Chance Redneck
It hasn’t taken them long, they began by telling us they would have a positive and patriotic case and they’re back to project fear within minutes. There they go again they have nothing positive to say.
BORIS JOHNSON

Long Patriotic Taken
Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix and stay conscious.
BORIS JOHNSON

Growth Looks Trying
It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.
BORIS JOHNSON

Appearance Believe Flip Human Wall
Churchill decides from very early on that he will create a political position that is somehow above left and right, embodying the best points of both sides and thereby incarnating the will of the nation.
BORIS JOHNSON

Men Political Thinking
I lead a life of blameless domesticity and always have done.
BORIS JOHNSON

Blameless Domesticity Done
The next Tory leader would have to unify his party and ensure that Britain stood tall in the world.
BORIS JOHNSON

Leader Party World
Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.
BORIS JOHNSON

BMW Breast Voting Wife
It was the kind of blind, gulping, insensate greed that you associate with some milk-eyed creature in a volcanic fissure at the bottom of the Marianas Trench-an organism with no understanding of the existence, let alone the feelings, of other members of the ecosystem.
BORIS JOHNSON

Blind Creature Ecosystem Existence Kind Member
London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world, ping pong is coming home.
BORIS JOHNSON

Capital Home Myself Sports World
Hitler showed the evil that could be done by the art of rhetoric. Churchill showed how it could help to save humanity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Art Evil Help Himself Humanity Save
We did everything we could to break down barriers that restrain poorest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Barriers Break Breaking Down
I think the risks that people see of terrorism are incredibly important but we are very confident we have got the right people on it and the risks have been minimised.
BORIS JOHNSON

People Risk Thinking
It is easy to make promises – it is hard work to keep them.
BORIS JOHNSON

Easy Hard Promise Work
Can I say anything good about Ken Livingstone? A long time ago he did some good things, but I can’t now remember what any of them were.
BORIS JOHNSON

Anything Long Remember Say
But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ancestor Freedom Hands Ourselves People

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

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