black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’

Bob Saget

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET

Creativity Day Kindness New
Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET

Except Nobody People
I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
BOB SAGET

Doorways May Stressed Unflattered
I have no agenda, nothing to control.
BOB SAGET

Agendas Control Nothing
I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
BOB SAGET

Penguins People Want
Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
BOB SAGET

Interesting People Way
My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGET

Breakfast Causes Mom
I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
BOB SAGET

Anymore Dirty Laughing People Stuff
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
BOB SAGET

Enjoy Masturbation Public
If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
BOB SAGET

Career Eight Wise
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET

Hurt Laughing People
My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET

Mom Thinking Today Told
My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET

Clothes Dad Mom
I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
BOB SAGET

Causes Drink Fighting
Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
BOB SAGET

Banking Government Thinking
My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
BOB SAGET

Dad Dollar Funny Mom Sex

The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’

Related Topics

Popular Authors

The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Saget Quotes