I love my mom! You can too for $12!
BOB SAGETThe selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
More Bob Saget Quotes
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When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
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Everyone I love I pay.
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Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
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I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
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In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
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I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
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My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
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I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
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No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET