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With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.

Bob Monkhouse

I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Clubs Home Real
Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Homeless Humor
I know I’m a sinner, but make me a winner!
BOB MONKHOUSE

Knows Sinner Winner
Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Humor Silence
What do gardeners do when they retire?
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Humor Retirement
I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Humor Sex
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Sex Wife Years
My wife said, ‘Can my mother come down for the weekend?’ So I said, ‘Why?’ And she said, ‘Well, she’s been up on the roof two weeks already.’
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Love Mother
I got my start in silent radio.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Humor Radio
I’ll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven’t done something even mildly creative.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Creative Done Want
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Father Funny Humor
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot’s ribs and demanded: ‘Take me to the canaries’.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Cat Funny Humor
I came home and found that my son was taking drugs – my very best ones too!
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Home Humor
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Clever Funny Smart
I’d never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny House Marriage Wife
When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?
BOB MONKHOUSE

Boards Drawing Inventor

With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.

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With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.

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