Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPEThe only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
BOB HOPE -
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE -
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE -
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE -
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE -
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE -
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE