I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPEThe only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPE -
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
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We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
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Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE -
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE -
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE -
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
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US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
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It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE -
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE