The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPEPresident Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn’t understand us at all.
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Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
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I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
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I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE