Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
BO BURNHAMWhat’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
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Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
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My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
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It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage.
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Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
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I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
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If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
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I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAM