I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAMWhat’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
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The strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
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They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
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For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
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I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
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You love the people that give you money and attention? Of course you do, that’s not selfless that you love your fans, that’s ridiculous.
BO BURNHAM