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People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

Bo Burnham

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAM

Donkey Funny Giants Humor
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
BO BURNHAM

Beautiful Distance Funny
What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
BO BURNHAM

Creative Funny Humor Life
I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
BO BURNHAM

Math Philosophy School
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
BO BURNHAM

Balls Funny Humor Person Two
My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition.
BO BURNHAM

Lovely People Trying
I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
BO BURNHAM

Bored Half Needs Overstimulated Scene
When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
BO BURNHAM

Country Men People Theatre Thinking
I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
BO BURNHAM

Faces Something Stupid
The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
BO BURNHAM

Firsts Forever Wikipedia
For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
BO BURNHAM

Comedians Men Say Anything
I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
BO BURNHAM

Favors Littles Thinking
I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Grow Kids Song
I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM

Love Perfect Trying You
Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Poverty Racism
Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
BO BURNHAM

Fake Kings Talent

People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

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People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

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Popular Authors

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