Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
BO BURNHAMI’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
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I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
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I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It’s like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, ‘I think you try too hard in your comedy.’ And that’s what I worry about.
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
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If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
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I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
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I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
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