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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

If there’s anything I hate more than not being taken seriously, it’s being taken too seriously.

Billy Wilder

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  She may be a wispy, thin little thing, but when you see that girl, you know you’re really in the presence of something. In that league there’s only ever been Garbo, and the other Hepburn, and maybe Bergman. It’s a rare quality, but boy, do you know when you’ve found it.

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  [about the Hotel Marmont on Sunset Blvd., a piece of Hollywood history] I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel.

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  If you have a problem with the third act, the real problem is in the first act.

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  Money makes even bastards legitimate.

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  The forest of Compiegne. Look at it. Like a kind grandmother dozing in her rocking chair. Old trees practicing curtsies in the wind because they still think Louis XIV is king.

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  If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.

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  Film’s thought of as a director’s medium because the director creates the end product that appears on the screen. It’s that stupid auteur theory again, that the director is the author of the film. But what does the director shoot-the telephone book?

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  After so many drive-in waitresses becoming movie stars, there has been this real drought, when along come class; somebody who actually went to school, can spell, maybe even plays the piano.

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  If you don’t like what you’re doing, it’s unlikely anyone else will either, so be sure you are happy with your own work first.

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  My Aunt Minnie would always be punctual and never hold up production, but who would pay to see my Aunt Minnie?

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  They’ve tried to manufacture other Marilyn Monroes and they will undoubtedly keep trying. But it won’t work. She was an original.

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  Writers became much more important when sound came in, but they’ve had to put up a valiant fight to get the credit they deserve.

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  I just made pictures I would’ve liked to see.

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  The ringing of a telephone that sounds like Beethoven’s “Pastoral.” A letter scribbled on her office stationery that you carry around in your pocket because it smells of all the lilacs in Ohio.

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  I never overestimate the audience, nor do I underestimate them. I just have a very rational idea as to who we’re dealing with, and that we’re not making a picture for Harvard Law School.

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