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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

If there’s anything I hate more than not being taken seriously, it’s being taken too seriously.

Billy Wilder

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  My Aunt Minnie would always be punctual and never hold up production, but who would pay to see my Aunt Minnie?

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  I had one life. And what did I do? Wasted it in some palooka preliminaries in Spain, just before Hitler and Chamberlain warm up for the main event.

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  She may be a wispy, thin little thing, but when you see that girl, you know you’re really in the presence of something. In that league there’s only ever been Garbo, and the other Hepburn, and maybe Bergman. It’s a rare quality, but boy, do you know when you’ve found it.

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  I have never met anyone as utterly mean as Marilyn Monroe. Nor as utterly fabulous on the screen, and that includes Garbo.

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  They’ve tried to manufacture other Marilyn Monroes and they will undoubtedly keep trying. But it won’t work. She was an original.

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  I have ten commandments. The first nine are, thou shalt not bore. The tenth is, thou shalt have right of final cut.

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  Now, what is it which makes a scene interesting? If you see a man coming through a doorway, it means nothing. If you see him coming through a window – that is at once interesting.

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  I just always think, ‘Do I like it?’ And if I like it, maybe other people will come and like it too.

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  Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award.

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  An actor entering through the door, you’ve got nothing. But if he enters through the window, you’ve got a situation.

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  My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Tutu.

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  Ah, Marilyn, Hollywood’s Joan of Arc, our Ultimate Sacrificial Lamb. Well, let me tell you, she was mean, terribly mean. The meanest woman I have ever known in this town.

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  The only pictures worth making are the ones that are playing with fire.

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  If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.

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  [on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.

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