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Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?

Billy Joel

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When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars – that’s heaven here on earth.
BERNIE MAC

Beer Boat Golf Ice Lobster
I can’t build myself by beating somebody down.

BERNIE MAC

I can’t build myself by beating somebody down.
BERNIE MAC

Somebody
I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them.
BERNIE MAC

Like
You don’t see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can’t play the game. I can’t – my tolerance – I know I’m getting old; I’ll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I’m getting old? ‘Cause my tolerance level is low.

BERNIE MAC

You don’t see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can’t play the game. I can’t – my tolerance – I know I’m getting old; I’ll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I’m getting old? ‘Cause my tolerance level is low.
BERNIE MAC

Games Years
Bernie Mac don’t sugarcoat.
BERNIE MAC

Macs Sugarcoat
Bradford Winters
BRADFORD WINTERS
I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.

BERNIE MAC

I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.
BERNIE MAC

Gangs Motorcycycle Things
I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It’s still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.

BERNIE MAC

I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It’s still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.
BERNIE MAC

Center Community Director Kids
I took my sports experience to my life on stage. That’s why I’m so disciplined. Playing sports, I was always underestimated. I was never picked first to do anything. This always helped me. It taught me how to push myself.
BERNIE MAC

Anything Firsts Push Taught
If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.

BERNIE MAC

If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.
BERNIE MAC

Bigger Laughing Stories
You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MAC

Breakfast Nine
Making people laugh is what I’ve been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don’t care about how I look, I’m dedicated to the laughs.
BERNIE MAC

Laughing Making Years
I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
BERNIE MAC

Able Onwer
I’ve never been no superficial cat.
BERNIE MAC

Been No Superficial
I don’t ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.

BERNIE MAC

I don’t ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.
BERNIE MAC

Perfect Robot Trying
I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.
BERNIE MAC

Brother Cutting Hair Maintenance

Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?

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More Billy Joel Quotes