Try to live in a place you like.
BILLY CONNOLLYI always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
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Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
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I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
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I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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Don’t buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They’re bastards, and they do it on purpose.
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I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
BILLY CONNOLLY