“You just know where to put the ball. You just feel it. It has been computed into your brain so many times ­ it is there.”

Ladies, here’s a hint. If you’re up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. That’s the hardest shot for the well-endowed.

It’s your birthday today, so what would you say, if we turned that frown upside down

I always respect right off the bat because we are human, but then over time you learn who the person truly is, just like they learn about you.

That’s why my place in the all-time rankings means so very little to me, because I know I won’t be anybody’s number one, and it’s that same old thing: if you’re not number one, then what does it really matter?

Men can have a huge turnover of sponsorship and still survive a lot better than the women. But the women’s ratings are better, at least at home in the United States than in the men’s tennis.

The most important words that have helped me in life, when things have gone right or when things have gone wrong are ‘accept responsibility.’

Winning comes down to who can execute under pressure.

You’ve got to win in sports – that’s talent – but you’ve also got to learn how to remind everybody how you did win, and how often. That comes with experience.

When I was playing, we didn’t have to compete against everybody in the world. Now it’s a truly global sport, so the competition’s much greater, just like it is for our children in every other area, whether it be in science or technology or whatever you talk about.

Don’t worry about what people say.

Being Number One isn’t everything to me, but for those few hours on the court it’s way ahead of whatever’s in second place.

Tennis is a perfect combination of violent action taking place in an atmosphere of total tranquillity.

I knew after my first lesson what I wanted to do with my life.

Don’t go into debt and don’t spend a lot. It’s not how much money you make, it’s how much you spend.

Winning is very tangible, it’s very exciting, it’s very pleasing, but it’s momentary. If you can do things that last, that each generation can build upon, then that’s when you’re cooking.

Marriage isn’t a 50-50 proposition very often. It’s more like 100-0 one moment and 0-100 the next.

Some scenes you juggle two balls, some scenes you juggle three balls, some scenes you can juggle five balls.

He’s passing the ball like Idi Amin.

Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.

Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.

The only thing in this world that gives orders is balls.

I’ve come to realize that I perform best when I’m letting my subconscious mind hit the ball and my conscious mind is otherwise occupied.

When you live from freelance check to freelance check, your mind is always on “What’s the next piece I’m going to write, or draw, that’ll pay this month’s rent?” And so going out to play ball with my kids was a low priority.

I’m a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I’m invited to all the inaugural balls.