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Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

Bill Watterson

I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
BILL WATTERSON

Idea Packing Percent Prostituted
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
BILL WATTERSON

Believe Evil Men
Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Mom Peas Plan Sorry
Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.
BILL WATTERSON

Day Seize Throttle Tomorrow
Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Opiates Television
I let my mind wander and it didn’t come back.
BILL WATTERSON

Bumper Funny Mind Sticker Wander
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.
BILL WATTERSON

Good Luck Lucky Rockets
Form follows function, as the architects say. With words and pictures, you can do just about anything.
BILL WATTERSON

Architect Form Function
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
BILL WATTERSON

Disappointment Friendship Harder Swearing
If you can’t win by reason, go for volume.
BILL WATTERSON

Reason Volume Winning
There’s great potential for that which has yet to be fully mined.
BILL WATTERSON

Fully Great Minded Potential
I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
BILL WATTERSON

Comic Existentialism Laughing Strips
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
BILL WATTERSON

Bad Helping Mood
But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He’s one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Kind Sacrifice
That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
BILL WATTERSON

Bad Perseverance Remarkable Worse

Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

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Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

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Popular Authors

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