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I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.

Bill Watterson

I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
BILL WATTERSON

Idea Packing Percent Prostituted
I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
BILL WATTERSON

Happiness Inspirational Life
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
BILL WATTERSON

Contact None Sometimes Think Universe
Hobbes: Do you think there’s a God? Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me!
BILL WATTERSON

Hobbes Thinking Wells
Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Mom Peas Plan Sorry
Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
BILL WATTERSON

Envy Successful Years
Calvin: Life’s a lot more fun when you aren’t responsible for your actions.
BILL WATTERSON

Action Fun Hobbes
Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
BILL WATTERSON

Cutting Mom Vegetables
Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
BILL WATTERSON

Dance Hard Maybe Number Special Tell
My problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release – just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Tiny Trouble
That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.
BILL WATTERSON

Bad Perseverance Remarkable Worse
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
BILL WATTERSON

Long Memories Outside School Successful Term
And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
BILL WATTERSON

Admission Anyone Exciting Gate More
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said ‘I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
BILL WATTERSON

Guy Humorous Look Thinking
I let my mind wander and it didn’t come back.
BILL WATTERSON

Bumper Funny Mind Sticker Wander
Calvin: Today for show and tell, I’ve brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake!
BILL WATTERSON

Learning Snowflake Thinking Unique

I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.

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I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.

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