I don’t know how to spell it and I’m not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I’ll stop you when…Hello?
BILL WATTERSONI don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
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Scientific Progress goes boink?
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Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!
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So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they’re already met?
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From now on, I’ll connect the dots my own way.
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Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I’d say our afternoon just got booked solid!
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If your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
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You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!
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The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that’s even worse
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Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.
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It’s surprising how hard we’ll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
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I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.
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Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
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Do you feel lonely? I don’t have the courage to face reality so I get lost in my dreams. You know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different.
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Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.
BILL WATTERSON