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In the next century it will be the early mechanical bird which get the first plastic worm out of the artificial grass.

Bill Vaughan

Nothing is more irritating than not being invited to a party you wouldn”t be seen dead at
BILL VAUGHAN

Invited Irritating Party
It turns out there’s only one thing that capuchins really, really love – and that’s sweet stuff. If you give them a big vat of say, marshmallow fluff, and you let them go at it.
BILL VAUGHAN

Body Long Sweet Weight
Your thoughts are making you.
BILL VAUGHAN

Making Person Thought
Are there any vegetarians among cannibals?
BILL VAUGHAN

Among Cannibal Vegetarians
You cannot speak of the ocean to a frog that lives in a well.
BILL VAUGHAN

Frogs Ocean Understanding
When a woman talks, she just wants to be heard.
BILL VAUGHAN

Heard Want Woman
An indefinable something is to be done, in a way nobody knows how, at a time nobody knows when, that will accomplish nobody knows what.
BILL VAUGHAN

Done Reform Something Way
The more human beings proceed by plan the more effectively they may be hit by accident
BILL VAUGHAN

Humans May Plans
What the heck do you think I’m doing? I’m laying these darn bricks! He then walked over to the second bricklayer and asked the same question.
BILL VAUGHAN

Bricklayer Bricks Question Same Walked
The suburb is a place where someone cuts down all the trees to build houses, and then names the streets after the trees.
BILL VAUGHAN

Cutting House Names
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.
BILL VAUGHAN

Baseball Parking Space Umpires
Adolescence is society’s permission slip for combining physical maturity with psychological irresponsibility.
BILL VAUGHAN

Maturity Permission Psychological
The old religions said that he was an atheist who did not believe in God. The new religion says that he is the atheist who does not believe in himself.
BILL VAUGHAN

Atheist Believe Self
Never seem wiser or more learned than the people you are with.
BILL VAUGHAN

Conversation People Pocket Watches
The true antidote to greed is contentment. If you have a strong sense of contentment, it doesn’t matter whether you obtain the object of your desire or not. Either way, you are still content.
BILL VAUGHAN

Contentment Greed Strong
Look for strength in people, not weakness; for good, not evil. Most of us find what we search for.
BILL VAUGHAN

Evil People Weakness

In the next century it will be the early mechanical bird which get the first plastic worm out of the artificial grass.

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In the next century it will be the early mechanical bird which get the first plastic worm out of the artificial grass.

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