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What a pity that the only way to heaven is in a hearse.

Bill Vaughan

The suburb is a place where someone cuts down all the trees to build houses, and then names the streets after the trees.
BILL VAUGHAN

Cutting House Names
The easiest books are generally the best; for, whatever author is obscure and difficult in his own language, certainly does not think clearly.
BILL VAUGHAN

Book Doe Thinking
It turns out there’s only one thing that capuchins really, really love – and that’s sweet stuff. If you give them a big vat of say, marshmallow fluff, and you let them go at it.
BILL VAUGHAN

Body Long Sweet Weight
Virtue, like a dowerless beauty, has more admirers than followers.
BILL VAUGHAN

Admirer Followers Virtue
Every time you look at a house in Los Angeles, the real-estate agent will tell you that someone famous once lived there. It always seemed irrelevant to me: Does a property gain value just because Alfred Hitchcock used to eat breakfast there?
BILL VAUGHAN

Doe House Real
By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.
BILL VAUGHAN

Elderly Funny Witty
Walk with a sense of being a part of a vast universe. Consider the thousands of miles of earth beneath your feet; think of the limitless expanse of space above your head.
BILL VAUGHAN

Beneath Early Expanse Feet Limitless Morning
The wise individual doesn’t get too attached to any of life’s pleasures, knowing that wonderful science is hard at work proving it’s bad for him.
BILL VAUGHAN

Knowing Wise Wonderful
Every woman is infallibly to be gained by every sort of flattery, and every man by one sort or other.
BILL VAUGHAN

Every Flattery Man Woman
The less important you are on the table of organization, the more you’ll be missed if you don’t show up for work.
BILL VAUGHAN

Important Organization Work
Usually we trust that nature has a master plan. But what was it she expected us to do with tobacco?.
BILL VAUGHAN

Masters Plans Smoking
Humility is the embroidery of chiefs.
BILL VAUGHAN

Chief Embroidery Humility
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.
BILL VAUGHAN

Educational Funny Money
By the age of twenty, any young man should know whether or not he is to be a specialist and just where his tastes lie.
BILL VAUGHAN

Especially Lying Maturity Men Young
It is not easy to describe the present position of legal opinion on advertising and free speech. Only a poet can capture the essence of chaos.
BILL VAUGHAN

Advertising Chaos Essence Speech
In the next century it will be the early mechanical bird which get the first plastic worm out of the artificial grass.
BILL VAUGHAN

Bird Century Firsts God Next

What a pity that the only way to heaven is in a hearse.

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What a pity that the only way to heaven is in a hearse.

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