“Muscles come and go; flab lasts.”

Perhaps God chose me to be an atheist?

The most malignant of enemies is the lust which abides within.

One of the quickest ways to become exhausted is by suppressing your feelings.

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.

People who have little to do are excessive talkers.

The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won’t take it, but somebody always does.

All the problems of the world – child labor, corruption – are symptoms of a spiritual disease: lack of compassion.

There must be some great truth underlying the instinct for worship.

What ever is the natural propensity of a person is hard to overcome. If a dog were made a king, he would still gnaw at his shoes laces.

An indefinable something is to be done, in a way nobody knows how, at a time nobody knows when, that will accomplish nobody knows what.

There is that in the soul of man which must respond to the highest in virtue. It may not respond at once. Human nature can easily be over-faced by examples too remote and austere.

Patience is a most necessary qualification for business; many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request.

A nation has character only when it is free.

If the distance between ourselves and others becomes too great, we experience isolation and alienation, yet if the proximity to others becomes too close, we feel smothered and trapped.

Beauty, alone, may please, not captivate; if lacking grace, ’tis but a hookless bait.

You have to climb to reach a deep thought.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he’s overcharging you.

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

Life in the twentieth century is like a parachute jump: you have to get it right the first time.

Some sarcasm is best told simply.

I’m sure you’re very nice, but you’d be even nicer if you went away.

As a former writer for the ‘National Lampoon,’ I’ve probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.

Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.

Krzhizhanovsky wanted to perform imaginary experiments with the nature of time and space.