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I’m just an obnoxious guy who can make it appear charming, that’s what they pay me to do.

Bill Murray

I wanted to be a doctor once upon a time, but it turns out you’ve got to study, and that wasn’t going to happen. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had trouble holding jobs because they want you to be on time. That wasn’t going to work.
BILL MURRAY

Doctors Ideas Jobs
When you did the job, you thought you were just trying to amuse your friends who are all on the job. I’m just trying to make the sound guy laugh, the script supervisor.
BILL MURRAY

Golf Jobs Laughing
You cannot pray them out of hell.
BILL MURRAY

Hell Praying Scary
The only way we’ll ever know what it’s like to be you is if you work your best at being you as often as you can, and keep reminding yourself: That’s where home is.
BILL MURRAY

Home Reminding Way Yourself
I don’t feel like it’s pressure. It’s more of an obligation – not to entertain or be funny, but to have a certain levity. I mean, there’s got to be a lightness in your leg.
BILL MURRAY

Light Mean Trying
The atheists traditionally hold their conventions from Good Friday to Easter Sunday during the hours Christ spent in the grave.
BILL MURRAY

Atheist Easter Friday
The money thing is, the sort of Elvis Presley thing of buying you mother car is great, that’s very good. My mother has learned how to spend money.
BILL MURRAY

Buying Car Mother
You work, you get paid, you drink.
BILL MURRAY

Drink Get Paid
The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.
BILL MURRAY

Army Feet Humorous
If you have someone that you think is The One, don’t just sort of think in your ordinary mind, ‘
BILL MURRAY

Love Party Thinking
You know the theory of cell irritability? If you take an amoeba cell and poke it a thousand times, it will change and then re-form into its original shape. And then, the thousandth time you poke this amoeba.
BILL MURRAY

Acting Cells People
If we don’t get this done, we’re never going to be friends, because if we don’t get the job done, then the one thing we did together that we had to do together we failed.”
BILL MURRAY

Done Failed Friend Together
All of us kids ended up ‘doing Mom.’ There are four of us who’ve tried show business. Five if you insist on counting my sister the nun, who does liturgical dance.
BILL MURRAY

Dance Kids Mom
And I don’t like to work. I only like working when I’m working.
BILL MURRAY

Like Work Working
All parties are good.
BILL MURRAY

Good Party
Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future isn’t here yet, whatever it’s going to be. So, all there is, is this. The present. That’s it.
BILL MURRAY

Future Gone Past Wells

I’m just an obnoxious guy who can make it appear charming, that’s what they pay me to do.

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I’m just an obnoxious guy who can make it appear charming, that’s what they pay me to do.

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Popular Authors

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