I wanted to be a doctor once upon a time, but it turns out you’ve got to study, and that wasn’t going to happen. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had trouble holding jobs because they want you to be on time. That wasn’t going to work.
BILL MURRAYI would jump into the middle of the street and say, “excuse me, there’s a Mercedes that’s got to get through here.” And I would push people out of the way, “get out of the way! Let him through!” Smacking their cars and stuff. Just like, “whack” and you just jump into it.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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Every day, he was talking to the studio about this helicopter shot.
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Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it’s usually something unusual.
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I don’t know how this guy knew how much money I was making. I didn’t know how much money I was making.
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I met a woman who photographed celebrity dogs for a book, and she told me that Ralph Lauren’s dog is named Rugby. I said, Yeah, but his real name is Stickball.
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Somewhere there’s a score being kept, so you have an obligation to live life as well as you can, be as engaged as you can.
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And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
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All of us kids ended up ‘doing Mom.’ There are four of us who’ve tried show business. Five if you insist on counting my sister the nun, who does liturgical dance.
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They are getting so much smoke blown, and their whole world gets so turned upside down, their responses become distorted. I give everybody a year or two to pull it together because, when it first happens, I know how it is.
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And I don’t like to work. I only like working when I’m working.
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Religion is the worst enemy of mankind. No single war in the history of humanity has killed as many people as religion has.
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I’m over the Oscar thing. I feel that if you really want an Oscar, you’re in trouble. It’s like wanting to be married – you’ll take anybody. If you want the Oscar really badly, it becomes a naked desire and ambition. It becomes very unattractive. I’ve seen it.
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My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses
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Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
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I don’t know what my fans are going to think. It’s definitely not what they’re used to from me.
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I knew that’s where I was going. I knew we were going to Italy. You couldn’t make this movie in America at this price. I knew it was going to be big. I knew there was going to be a ship involved and that there was going to be a set as big as the ship.
BILL MURRAY