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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.

Bill Hicks

The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.
BILL HICKS

Dream Jeans Three
I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.
BILL HICKS

Anyone Doing Kid Murdered Robbed Sorry Taught
Rock stars against drugs–that’s what we want, isn’t it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We’re partying now!
BILL HICKS

Approved Party Rocks Stars
If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
BILL HICKS

Block Cemeteries Funny Humor
Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Stories Today
Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs…shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a ‘well-regulated militia’?
BILL HICKS

Bystanders Gun Rights
Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
BILL HICKS

Caffeine Energize Friday Monday Productive The Figure
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor People Two
Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
BILL HICKS

Cold Environment Next War
I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
BILL HICKS

Happiness Ideas Laughter Revolutionary
How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
BILL HICKS

Country Jesus Thinking
At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.
BILL HICKS

Block Eternal Kids Least Out Rocking
To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
BILL HICKS

Country People Weapons
What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
BILL HICKS

Esteem Feeling Better Self War
Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
BILL HICKS

Bible Book Chocolate Race
Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
BILL HICKS

Added Age Bible People Years

If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.

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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.

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