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I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.

Bill Hicks

I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
BILL HICKS

Enthusiasm Party Rocks
I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Soul
What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
BILL HICKS

Arms Government Realizing
But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It’s no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
BILL HICKS

Miracle Sex Wonderful
Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
BILL HICKS

Cancer Disease Heart Seriously
Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
BILL HICKS

Dream Funny Ideas Revolutionary
Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Stories Today
So, it’s good to be here, wherever I am.
BILL HICKS

Good Person Wherever
I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That’s faith in action folks! You know he’s got God on his side.
BILL HICKS

Funny Glasses Humor Mobile Seeing
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
BILL HICKS

Believe Creation Eye People Real
Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
BILL HICKS

Law Made Natural
Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
BILL HICKS

Land might Pick Please
How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
BILL HICKS

Country Jesus Thinking
Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
BILL HICKS

Answers Helping People
If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.
BILL HICKS

Burning Drugs Political Thinking
I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
BILL HICKS

Believe Created Self World

I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.

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I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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