I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKSListen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic.
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you’re all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)
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Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
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I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
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What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
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Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
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I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’
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I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
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BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.
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The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
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…I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An ‘avenging GOD’? One who created Hell for those who don’t believe?
BILL HICKS