Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
BILL HICKSHumanity is just a virus with shoes.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
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The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
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….All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.
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I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin’ mouth.
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I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
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I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
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Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
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You know what I hate about working? Bosses…The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well…I think you see the conflict.
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Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.
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Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me.
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you’re all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)
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It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America… you are free to do as we tell you… you are free to do as we tell you.
BILL HICKS