Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.
BILL BURROut of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, ‘What do you think you’re doing!’ The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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I don’t think people know what hygienist means.
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Actually they [ Netflix] were telling us to push it further and I’ve never gotten a nod like that from anybody in the industry, so it’s been awesome to work with them. I’m very happy where we’re at.
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I’ve had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
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Michael Price is the showrunner so nobody works harder than him.
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I’m one of those guys where you know, I’m 23 years into this and I love the road more than ever and rather than whittling down my schedule to just play the major cities.
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Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else’s success is not your failure.
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It’s just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is hilarious, so no.
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It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there.
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Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, ‘What do you think you’re doing!’ The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.
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There’s a big thing right now with people using stand-up as a scapegoat. People think comedians have the power to change someone in an hour. If we had that ability, the art would not be legal. It would too dangerous.
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So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.
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You wanna know how you know you’re informed as a protestor? They don’t show your interview on TV.
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I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.
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Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
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I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.
BILL BURR