I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.
BILL BURRWhen I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It’s always been high quality stuff coming out of there.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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My neighbor’s not even listening to me. He’s all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He’s convinced it was designed by NASA. “Actually, it’s got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the…”
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I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you’ve gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman’s motherly instincts.
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Don’t be a jerk to other comics and don’t let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you’re going to get somewhere.
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I’ve found is that by doing stand-up, I’ve actually learned how to combat depression. I don’t have clinical, but I’ve definitely had my bouts with it. I just figured out that it’s a choice. Y
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Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.
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You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, ‘You know what? We don’t think you’re smart enough for an office, but we don’t want you to look at anybody.
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I mean, stand up you’re by yourself and it’s live and when you’re acting, unless you’re doing a monologue, you’re interacting with somebody else. Even if you’re doing a monologue you’re saying it to somebody and it’s not live so you can do it a few times.
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I don’t think people know what hygienist means.
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I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don’t. The misery will come. The misery will find you.
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I enjoy collaborating with other people.
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Something that’s going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.
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Like I said, you guys in the media will treat the dumbest jack**s in the entire f***ng world like they won a Pulitzer prize for journalism and will put that level of weight on it, like they’re an ambassador to some country we’re trying to establish trade with.
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My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn’t be funny, but to observe it, it’s hilarious.
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I am so pro-swine flu it’s – it’s like ridiculous.
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There’s no “brothers” when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don’t care about each other. He’s not my brother; my brother lives in Ohio – I don’t know that guy.
BILL BURR