black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I’m in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can’t seem to come up with anything new that’s funny. That’s a tough place to be as a comedian.

Bill Burr

I’m not easy to live with. My wife is a saint.
BILL BURR

Easy Saint Wife
A little good advice, a little bad advice.You go to Las Vegas, there’s like a devil and a devil and they’re just battling it out the whole time. It’s like, “Smoke some crack!” “Get a hooker!” And then I go, “YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!”
BILL BURR

Advice Battling Devil Hooker Smoke
If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you’re from and some of the thought processes.
BILL BURR

Chance Country East
Michael Price is the showrunner so nobody works harder than him.
BILL BURR

Hard Nobody Work Harder
Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He’s the coolest. I’ve never met The Rock though.
BILL BURR

Beer Guy Rocks
I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.
BILL BURR

Elbows Elderly Today
The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for office, that may be the one that comes back and haunts me.
BILL BURR

Guy Office Running
Don’t be a jerk to other comics and don’t let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you’re going to get somewhere.
BILL BURR

Ass Jerk Positive Stay
I started having a panic attack seeing my name in that list of people. It was pretty overwhelming.
BILL BURR

Attack Overwhelming Panic Sudden
Carnegie Hall is as good as they say it is. It’s not like Stonehenge which looks great in books but then you go there and it’s a pile of rocks next to a highway. There’s actually a highway right next to it, but you don’t see that in pictures.
BILL BURR

Book Looks Rocks
I’m like that loud guy in the bar, who kind of makes sense for about ten minutes, and then you realise he flunked everything at high school so you just laugh at him.
BILL BURR

Everything Flunked High Minutes School Taught
Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.
BILL BURR

Dave Shows Working
I’ve had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
BILL BURR

Great Gun Shooting Time
There is a very difficult period in a comedian’s career – it’s that window of time where you’re good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.
BILL BURR

Career Comedian Ticket
Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.
BILL BURR

Beautiful Gun Light
I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
BILL BURR

Believe Debate Trump

The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I’m in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can’t seem to come up with anything new that’s funny. That’s a tough place to be as a comedian.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I’m in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can’t seem to come up with anything new that’s funny. That’s a tough place to be as a comedian.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Burr Quotes