ou’re in control of your brain. When your brain is sending you bad information or bad thoughts, you can decide to go to the gym, or write a new joke – or if you’re on the road, go to a ball game…
BILL BURRIf you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you’re from and some of the thought processes.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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Being a stand-up comic, this isn’t a stepping-stone for me; it’s what I do, and this is what I’m always going to do. And even if I do a TV show, the only reasons to do a TV show is to get more people to know me to come out to my stand-up shows.
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London was like that too. It was that time of year when all the rich kids with the oil money have their cars shipped over.
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Something that’s going to get the blood going. Or you can let those thoughts take you right down the rabbit hole.
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Haven’t you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald’s has a new sandwich?
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I’m like that loud guy in the bar, who kind of makes sense for about ten minutes, and then you realise he flunked everything at high school so you just laugh at him.
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If this goes into sweatshop labor, I’m quitting this podcast.
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I’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
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So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.
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My neighbor’s not even listening to me. He’s all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He’s convinced it was designed by NASA. “Actually, it’s got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the…”
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What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.
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Once you do a joke and it works it’s only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.
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I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.
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I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes “no you didn’t feature, you co-hosted”. He literally invented a term so he didn’t have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced!
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I’ve actually expanded the amount of places that I go to because I want to see a bunch of stuff. You know, plan it as I can while I’m still young enough to travel.
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I just do my act. If people in England don’t get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.
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