My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
BILL BURRI was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes “no you didn’t feature, you co-hosted”. He literally invented a term so he didn’t have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced!
More Bill Burr Quotes
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I don’t mind either one [crowd that is more willing to interact or crowd that’s more ready to just watch]. Both of them are forms of listening to what I’m saying so I can’t ask for any more than that.
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I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.
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If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get a mortgage I get a tax break. I don’t have any kids and I drive a hybrid, I think I should get a tax break.
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If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
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I’ve actually expanded the amount of places that I go to because I want to see a bunch of stuff. You know, plan it as I can while I’m still young enough to travel.
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London was like that too. It was that time of year when all the rich kids with the oil money have their cars shipped over.
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I am so pro-swine flu… I want it. We need a plague. It’s got to happen; don’t be afraid. It’s only going to kill the weak.
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I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes “no you didn’t feature, you co-hosted”. He literally invented a term so he didn’t have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced!
BILL BURR -
Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it’s a fun place to live.
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If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you’re from and some of the thought processes.
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Deny your emotions and act like you have answers
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As a big music fan, England is an amazing place to go.
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Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, ‘What do you think you’re doing!’ The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.
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I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.
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I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.
BILL BURR