I started having a panic attack seeing my name in that list of people. It was pretty overwhelming.
BILL BURRThink about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans – if any of that had been filmed like [Adolf] Hitler, we’d never live it down.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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When I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It’s always been high quality stuff coming out of there.
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If this goes into sweatshop labor, I’m quitting this podcast.
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Let’s go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.
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Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it’s a fun place to live.
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I’ve had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.
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I don’t mind it. I just space it out. Every other week I go out. I used to get some time to myself but I’ve been pretty busy lately. But I’ve had it the other way, where I’m staring at the phone waiting for it to ring, so this is definitely better.
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People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you’re a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is “looking for”. Just say what you think is funny. .
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I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.
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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
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I was certified to take x-rays, but you can’t just show up and start cleaning people’s teeth.
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I’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.
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I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with ’em. You just talk about life, and you distract them by throwing the ball. They don’t even notice that you’re filling up their heads with your theories.
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It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.
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You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.
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We need a plague. It’s gotta happen. And don’t worry, it’s only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take some vitamins, you’re gonna be fine! We gotta let mother nature do her thing, man. She keeps trying to help us out and we won’t let her do it.
BILL BURR