If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
BILL BURRIf you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.
BILL BURRI was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you’ve gotta grow up. I think the genius in the man-boy thing is you tap into a woman’s motherly instincts.
BILL BURRGold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
BILL BURRIf you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you’re from and some of the thought processes.
BILL BURROnce you do a joke and it works it’s only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.
BILL BURREveryone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it’s a fun place to live.
BILL BURRMy parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it would be hard to find a guy who’s logged more hours than that guy.
BILL BURRI gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?
BILL BURRYour twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
BILL BURRI have fun doing movies, I’ve had fun doing the animated show, and I certainly have fun doing standup. Even that, even though it’s just me talking, it’s also interaction with the crowd.
BILL BURRI am so pro-swine flu it’s – it’s like ridiculous.
BILL BURRWe need a plague. It’s gotta happen. And don’t worry, it’s only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take some vitamins, you’re gonna be fine! We gotta let mother nature do her thing, man. She keeps trying to help us out and we won’t let her do it.
BILL BURRIf I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get a mortgage I get a tax break. I don’t have any kids and I drive a hybrid, I think I should get a tax break.
BILL BURRMy favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn’t be funny, but to observe it, it’s hilarious.
BILL BURRI’m a standup comedian who gets to act. I’m never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I’m doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup.
BILL BURRYou have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can’t believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.
BILL BURR