• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression.

Bill Bryson

Related Topics

FunnyHumorRace

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

| Next

More Bill Bryson Quotes

• 

  You don’t need a science degree to understand about science. You just need to think about it.

  BILL BRYSON
  ScienceThinkingUnderstanding
• 

  The human diet consists of just nine plants: corn, rice, wheat, potatoes, cassava, sorghum, millet, beans, barley, rye and oats.

  BILL BRYSON
  CassavaCornNineOats
• 

  America is a very seductive place in terms of lifestyle and comfort, but it wasn’t for me.

  BILL BRYSON
  ComfortCountrySeductive
• 

  They make you feel small & confused & vulnerable, like a small child lost in a crowd of strange legs. Stand in a desert or prairie & you know you are in a big space. Stand in the woods and you only sense it. They are vast, featureless nowhere. And they are alive.

  BILL BRYSON
  ConfuseCrowdFeelSmartSpaceStand
• 

  Finally, this being America, there is the constant possibility of murder.

  BILL BRYSON
  CountryMurderPossibility
• 

  Everything seems to be designed for the benefit of the automobile and not the benefit of the human being.

  BILL BRYSON
  AutomobileBeingEverythingHuman
• 

  Don’t you believe it. Bacteria may not build cities or have interesting social lives, but they will be here when the Sun explodes. This is their planet, and we are on it only because they allow us to be.

  BILL BRYSON
  AllowBelieveLivesSocialSun
• 

  From an evolutionary point of view, sex is really just a reward mechanism to encourage us to pass on our genetic material.

  BILL BRYSON
  RewardsSexViews
• 

  Americans now get in a car. On average the total walking of an American these days – that’s walking of all types: from car to office, from office to car, around the supermarket and shopping malls – adds up to 1.4 miles a week, barely 350 yards a day.

  BILL BRYSON
  AroundAverageShoppingSupermarketWalking
• 

  But I got a great deal else from the experience. I learned to pitch a tent and sleep beneath the stars. For a brief, proud period I was slender and fit. I gained a profound respect for the wilderness and nature and the benign dark power of woods.

  BILL BRYSON
  BeneathGainedHomeSleepStars
• 

  If a potato can produce vitamin C, why can’t we? Within the animal kingdom only humans and guinea pigs are unable to synthesize vitamin C in their own bodies. Why us and guinea pigs? No point asking. Nobody knows.

  BILL BRYSON
  AnimalAskingPigs
• 

  We may be all there is. It’s an unnerving thought that we may be the living universe’s supreme achievement and its worst nightmare simultaneously.

  BILL BRYSON
  AchievementNightmareSimultaneouslyWorst
• 

  Time, you discover, has wrought changes that leave you feeling mildly foolish and out of touch.

  BILL BRYSON
  DiscoverFeelingLeaveTouch
• 

  That is jargon – the practice of never calling a spade a spade when you might instead call it a manual earth-restructuring implement – and it is one of the great curses of modern English.

  BILL BRYSON
  CruiseEnglishImplementModernRestructuring
• 

  We forget just how painfully dim the world was before electricity. A candle, a good candle, provides barely a hundredth of the illumination of a single 100 watt light bulb.

  BILL BRYSON
  IlluminationLightWorld
• 

  Traveling is more fun – hell, life is more fun – if you can treat it as a series of impulses.

  BILL BRYSON
  FunHellLife