So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
BILL BAILEYSo many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
BILL BAILEYI’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
BILL BAILEYAt college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
BILL BAILEYI’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
BILL BAILEYIt’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
BILL BAILEYIt’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
BILL BAILEYI’m a vegetarian, I’m not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they’re nearly fish aren’t they.
BILL BAILEYI once punched a bloke in the face for saying ‘Hawk the Slayer’ was rubbish, when what I should have said ‘Dad, you’re wrong.’
BILL BAILEYNostalgia: How long’s that been around?
BILL BAILEYWork hard, save and live within your means.
BILL BAILEYWelcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
BILL BAILEYThe so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing.
BILL BAILEYTonight’s show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn’t – haven’t made my mind up yet.
BILL BAILEYOrchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
BILL BAILEYI try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
BILL BAILEYPeople say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’
BILL BAILEY