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I never know how much of what I say is true.

Bette Midler

If someone were to say seriously, “I’m divine,” she’d have to be locked up. There are lots of people in mental institutions going around saying “I’m God.” But because I’m funny about it, they haven’t locked me up yet. And I don’t give myself airs, either.
BETTE MIDLER

Air Giving People
Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.
BETTE MIDLER

Book Country Horse
I wouldn’t say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.
BETTE MIDLER

Memorable Women
Enough about me. What do you think about me?
BETTE MIDLER

About Enough Thinking
People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.
BETTE MIDLER

Best Hard People Work
If I don’t feel right about what I’m in, I don’t feel right about anything.
BETTE MIDLER

Anything Clothes Feels Right
I’ve always said that people have unrealistic expectations.
BETTE MIDLER

Expectations People Unrealistic
I’d make a wonderful Lady Macbeth. I’ll wear a pair of platform shoes or something.
BETTE MIDLER

Lady Macbeth Pairs Shoes
If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
BETTE MIDLER

Happy Picks Ukulele
Even if the whole human race dies off because we keep fighting and killing each other and being heartless, the planet will take care of itself. Eventually, after millions of years.
BETTE MIDLER

Fighting Race Years
Make sure your life is a rare entertainment! It doesn’t take anything drastic. You needn’t be gorgeous or wealthy or smart, just very enthusiastic!
BETTE MIDLER

Entertainment Life Smart
One of my first role models was Eugene Lang, a wealthy businessman who went back to his elementary school in East Harlem and addressed the sixth-grade class. He looked out at that sea of faces and said, “If any of you wants to go to college, I will pay for it.”
BETTE MIDLER

College Kids School
There’s the media-driven universe, in which the public perceives you in a superficial way. Then there’s the universe that you actually inhabit, where you have to get up even if you didn’t sleep so well, and you feel like crap and your face is swollen.
BETTE MIDLER

Media Sleep Way
If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.
BETTE MIDLER

Laugh Laughing Slave
I have my standards. They’re low, but I have them.
BETTE MIDLER

Low Lows Standards
I can get plenty of men, keeping them is the hard part.
BETTE MIDLER

Men Plenty Relationship

I never know how much of what I say is true.

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I never know how much of what I say is true.

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