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When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars – that’s heaven here on earth.

Bernie Mac

I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, ‘I’m like you – I’m frustrated, I’m not an expert, I don’t have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I’m selfish too.’
BERNIE MAC

Directly Frustrated Manual Mistake Selfish
They say if you don’t have your health you ain’t got nothing, but the truth is you ain’t got nothing if you don’t have no one to worry about your health.
BERNIE MAC

Health Nothing Truth Worry
People like rumors. They’re going to say things like, ‘You was at the club with Lil’ Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.’ You can’t get upset. You’ve got to keep hope alive.
BERNIE MAC

Alive Fighting People Upset
I’m funny. I’m a comedian. I’m not a clown.
BERNIE MAC

Clown Comedian Funny
I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
BERNIE MAC

Able Discipline Gun Machine Onwer
I’m not a politician, I’m a comedian. I know my limitations.
BERNIE MAC

Comedian Knows Limitation Politician
I hate to let people down. I was like that in sports and I was like that in comedy. I was like that at work. When I worked General Motors and stuff like that, when I say something, I mean it.
BERNIE MAC

General Hate Mean Something Sports
Hugs aren’t like pieces of pie. Plenty of hugs to go around.
BERNIE MAC

Hug Pie Pieces Plenty
You can’t be a doctor if you don’t know the entire parts of the body.
BERNIE MAC

Body Doctors Knows
My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.
BERNIE MAC

Changed Foolishness Make Sense
Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.
BERNIE MAC

Able Laughing Red Same Time
You know, every time it comes, every time that light comes on or every time that camera comes on, every time that microphone comes on, the Mac Man seek and destroy.
BERNIE MAC

Cameras Comes Light Men Microphone
I came from a place where there wasn’t a lot of joy.
BERNIE MAC

Joy Lot Place
I took my sports experience to my life on stage. That’s why I’m so disciplined. Playing sports, I was always underestimated. I was never picked first to do anything. This always helped me. It taught me how to push myself.
BERNIE MAC

Anything Firsts Help Push Sports Taught
My family are police officers, detectives. My brother Mitch is FBI. Mitch is like that – a stern enforcer.
BERNIE MAC

Brother Detectives Police
You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MAC

Breakfast Food Night Nine

When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars – that’s heaven here on earth.

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When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars – that’s heaven here on earth.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bernie Mac Quotes