“Good golf begins with a good grip.”

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

You only hit a straight ball by accident. The ball is going to move right or left every time you hit it, so you had better make it go one way or the other.

All other things being equal, greens break to the west.

You continually have to ask yourself what club to play, where to aim it, whether to accept a safe par or to try to go for a birdie. You can’t play every hole the same way. I never could.

Jesus Christ can’t hit a golf ball straight. It’s virtually impossible – at best it’s an accident.

Selecting a stroke is like selecting a wife. To each his own.

Your name is the most important thing you own. Don’t ever do anything to disgrace or cheapen it.

Golf is 20 percent talent and 80 percent management.

I don’t believe there is anything like a natural golf swing. A golf swing is an unnatural thing, and it has to be developed.

The most important shot in golf is the next one.

Shoot a lower score than everybody else.

I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.

I dreamed one night that I had 17 holes-in-one and one two, and when I woke up I was so goddam mad.

A shot that goes in the cup is pure luck, but a shot to within two feet of the flag is skill.

May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.

I see no reason that a golf course cannot be played in 18 birdies. Just because no one has ever done that doesn’t mean it can’t be done.

You win all the Tucsons, all the Kemps, all the Iron City Opens you can, nobody remembers. You win a Masters, nobody ever forgets

Too much ambition is a bad thing to have in a bunker.

Addressing a golf ball would seem to be a simple matter; that is, to the uninitiated who cannot appreciate that a golf ball can hold more terrors than a spacious auditorium packed with people.

We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.

It is nevertheless a game of considerable passion, either of the explosive type, or that which burns inwardly and sears the soul.

Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case.

I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!