I think I’m the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I’m the least funny person in a room full of funny people.
I get up in the morning and I put on makeup and then I say somebody else’s words in someone else’s clothes, and then I go home and watch TV, have a glass of whisky and go to bed.
If you’re starting to lose your faith in the general intelligence of the American populous, there’s nothing like them mistaking pop culture for Van Gogh as a sign that people still read their history books and care about art.
If people understood what life insurance does, we wouldn’t need salesmen to sell it. People would come knocking on the door. But they don’t understand.
