black
grey
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I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.

Beatrice Sparks

I’m partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Shadow Thinking
I would like to stay stoned all the time, it scares me it’s so good. I would like to stay stoned every minute of every day for the rest of my life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Good Life Minutes Rest Scare
Sometimes I think we’re all trying to be shadows of each other, trying to buy the same records and everything even if we don’t like them. Kids are like robots, off an assembly line, and I don’t want to be a robot!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Assembly Everything Record Robot Same Shadow
Even my parents treat me like I’m stupid and inferior and ever short. I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Even Expectation Inferior Measure
It’s a good thing most people bleed on the inside or this would be a gory, blood-smeared earth.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Blood Life People
I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Expectations Like Measure
I can’t believe that I changed so little. I expected to look old and hollow and gray, but I guess it’s only me on the inside that has shriveled and deteriorated.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Believe Littles Looks
Why is life so difficult? Why can’t we be just ourselves and have everyone accept us the way we are?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Accepting Difficult Way
They don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Selfish Thinking
I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Book Part Real Really
I pretend I’ve got lots of confidence and I’m a big jock and like that but deep inside I’m a frightened, insecure, can’t-make-it failure.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Frightened Insecure Jocks
How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Embarrassed Function Miserable
I wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone in this whole world. I wouldn’t hurt them physically or emotionally, how then can people so consistently do it to me?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt People Stupid
Lying – remembering beauty in truth.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Beauty Lying Remember Truth
I’ve got to sleep. Sleep is my only way to escape.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Escape Sleep Way
Alone. The saddest word in the world.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Saddest World

I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.

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I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.

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