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Your trousers are on fire. I would have told you, but you so dislike advice.

Barbara Mertz

Most men are reasonably useful in a crisis. The difficulty lies in convincing them that the situation has reached a critical point
BARBARA MERTZ

Crisis Lying Men
Children, I feel, are as much entitled to privacy as human beings.
BARBARA MERTZ

Children Feel Privacy
I’ve been reading ghost stories ever since I could read. I’m immensely curious about ghosts and UFOs and all that stuff, but I’m a very hard-headed person.
BARBARA MERTZ

Ghost Reading Stories Stuff
No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it.
BARBARA MERTZ

Funny Want Women
People who relate what they believe to be new and startling information like to have such information received with exclamations of astonishment and admiration.
BARBARA MERTZ

Astonishment Believe People
Conventional history completely ignores half the human race.
BARBARA MERTZ

Half History Race
Exaggeration is the cheapest form of humor.
BARBARA MERTZ

Exaggeration Form Humor
I never meant to marry. In my opinion, a woman born in the last half of the nineteenth century of the Christian era suffered from enough disadvantages without willfully embracing another.
BARBARA MERTZ

Christian Half Lasts
Ramses had always been fond of Helen, in his peculiar fashion, but if he had looked at me as he was looking at her, I would have sent for a constable.
BARBARA MERTZ

Fashion Helen Peculiar
It may take us a little longer to reach the summit, but never fear, we will get there!
BARBARA MERTZ

Determination Littles May
I do not scruple to employ mendacity and a fictitious appearance of female incompetence when the occasion demands it.
BARBARA MERTZ

Appearance Demand Female
It’s not unsporting to thrash a cowardly cad,’ said Simmons. ‘Everyone knows you don’t fight like a gentleman.’ ‘That might be called an oxymoron,’ Ramses said. ‘Oh–sorry. Bad form to use long words. Look it up when you get home.’ The poor devil didn’t know how to fight, like a gentleman or otherwise.
BARBARA MERTZ

Fighting Home Sorry
..he continues to cling to the forlorn hope that I will turn into one of those swooning females…and fling myself squeeling at him whenever anything happens. Like all men, he clings to his illusions.
BARBARA MERTZ

Female Men Swooning
That’s maturity-when you realize that you’ve finally arrived at a state of ignorance as profound as your parents.
BARBARA MERTZ

Ignorance Maturity Profound
Nothing looks as self-satisfied as a contented cat.
BARBARA MERTZ

Cat Looks Self
Humor is an excellent method of keeping a tight rein on unproductive displays of emotion.
BARBARA MERTZ

Emotion Excellent Method

Your trousers are on fire. I would have told you, but you so dislike advice.

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Your trousers are on fire. I would have told you, but you so dislike advice.

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