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If all else fails, we will simply have to drug our attendants, overpower the guards, raise the oppressed peasants to arms, and take over the government.

Barbara Mertz

Humor is an excellent method of keeping a tight rein on unproductive displays of emotion.
BARBARA MERTZ

Emotion Excellent Method
Is is difficult to be angry with a gentleman who pays you compliments, even impertinent compliments. Especially impertinent compliments.
BARBARA MERTZ

Gentleman Men Pay
The trouble with unknown enemies is that they are so difficult to identify.
BARBARA MERTZ

Difficult Enemy Trouble
Dogs can be made to feel guilty about anything, including the sins of their owners. Cats refuse to take the blame for anything – including their own sins.
BARBARA MERTZ

Blame Cat Dog
Emerson,’ I said, choosing my words with care, ‘it is a sheer drop from the cleft down to the base of the cliff. If you are bent on breaking your arm or your leg or your neck or all three, find a place closer to home so we won’t have to carry you such a distance.
BARBARA MERTZ

Distance Home Three
..he continues to cling to the forlorn hope that I will turn into one of those swooning females…and fling myself squeeling at him whenever anything happens. Like all men, he clings to his illusions.
BARBARA MERTZ

Female Men Swooning
He hesitated for a moment. Then he said softly, “I love you, Mother.” He took my hand and kissed it, and folded my fingers round the stem of the rose. He had stripped it of its thorns.
BARBARA MERTZ

Love Mother Son You
Love has a very dulling effect on the brain
BARBARA MERTZ

Brain Dulling Effects Love
Marriage, in my view, should be a balanced stalemate between equal adversaries.
BARBARA MERTZ

Marriage Should Views
I never meant to marry. In my opinion, a woman born in the last half of the nineteenth century of the Christian era suffered from enough disadvantages without willfully embracing another.
BARBARA MERTZ

Christian Half Lasts
I do hope you have some money. I’m getting tired of hitting people.
BARBARA MERTZ

Hitting People Tired
Husbands do not care to be contradicted. Indeed, I do not know anyone who does.
BARBARA MERTZ

Care Contradicted Husband
I would never have supposed that inexperienced girl was capable of such cold-blooded, calculating manipulation!
BARBARA MERTZ

Cold Girl Manipulation
Ramses had always been fond of Helen, in his peculiar fashion, but if he had looked at me as he was looking at her, I would have sent for a constable.
BARBARA MERTZ

Fashion Helen Peculiar
Many persons lead lives of crushing boredom.
BARBARA MERTZ

Boredom Crush Persons
Exaggeration is the cheapest form of humor.
BARBARA MERTZ

Exaggeration Form Humor

If all else fails, we will simply have to drug our attendants, overpower the guards, raise the oppressed peasants to arms, and take over the government.

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If all else fails, we will simply have to drug our attendants, overpower the guards, raise the oppressed peasants to arms, and take over the government.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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