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It’s not unsporting to thrash a cowardly cad,’ said Simmons. ‘Everyone knows you don’t fight like a gentleman.’ ‘That might be called an oxymoron,’ Ramses said. ‘Oh–sorry. Bad form to use long words. Look it up when you get home.’ The poor devil didn’t know how to fight, like a gentleman or otherwise.

Barbara Mertz

Husbands do not care to be contradicted. Indeed, I do not know anyone who does.
BARBARA MERTZ

Care Contradicted Husband
kissing someone out of pity is always a mistake.
BARBARA MERTZ

Kissing Mistake Someone
Loving someone condemns you to a lifetime of fear. You become painfully conscious of how fragile people are – bundles of brittle bones and vulnerable flesh, breeding grounds for billions of deadly germs and horrible diseases.
BARBARA MERTZ

Disease Loving People Someone
Dogs can be made to feel guilty about anything, including the sins of their owners. Cats refuse to take the blame for anything – including their own sins.
BARBARA MERTZ

Blame Cat Dog
Writing is like a bird-watcher watching for birds: the stories are there: you just have to train yourself to look for them.
BARBARA MERTZ

Bird Looks Writing
It was hate at first sight, clean, pure and strong as grain alcohol.
BARBARA MERTZ

Hate Sight Strong
Marriage, in my view, should be a balanced stalemate between equal adversaries.
BARBARA MERTZ

Marriage Should Views
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be the respected patriarch of an ordinary English family.” “Very boring, Emerson.
BARBARA MERTZ

English Ordinary Sometimes Wonder
A man asking for help ought to at least give directions.
BARBARA MERTZ

Asking Giving Help Men
A fondness for martyrdom, especially of the verbal variety, is common to the young.
BARBARA MERTZ

Common Young Youth
When one is striding bravely into the future one cannot watch one’s footing.
BARBARA MERTZ

Foot Future Many One People Watches
The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal – or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be.
BARBARA MERTZ

Cat Treats Way
Most men are reasonably useful in a crisis. The difficulty lies in convincing them that the situation has reached a critical point
BARBARA MERTZ

Crisis Lying Men
Your trousers are on fire. I would have told you, but you so dislike advice.
BARBARA MERTZ

Advice Fire Trouser
Is is difficult to be angry with a gentleman who pays you compliments, even impertinent compliments. Especially impertinent compliments.
BARBARA MERTZ

Gentleman Men Pay
I disapprove of matrimony as a matter of principle…. Why should any independent, intelligent female choose to subject herself to the whims and tyrannies of a husband? I assure you, I have yet to meet a man as sensible as myself! (Amelia Peabody)
BARBARA MERTZ

Husband Independent Intelligent

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