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My dad was not super-intentional in his parenting. He was very self-absorbed. I won’t say mean or selfish per se, but very self-absorbed. I think he was just thinking out loud.

Angela Duckworth

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I will say that if my wildest dreams come true, I will, like, wake up one day, and I will be Carol Dweck, right? Because she is like everything I want to be.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Come Country Day Dream Everything Like One People Person True Want Wildest
You know, the things that I want my own daughters to develop – the idea that we’re going to get there through rewards and punishments seems completely at odds with the idea of character itself.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Character Daughter Develop Idea Itself Punishment Reward Seem Thing
Everybody knows that effort matters. What was revelatory to me was how much it mattered.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Effort Everybody Matter Mattered Much Revelator
Psychologists call this the maturity principle. My own life experience fits this principle to a T.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Call Experience Life Maturity Own Principle Pschllogistic
There are going to be peaks and valleys. You don’t want to let kids quit during a valley.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Kid Peak Quit Valley Want
I think the questions on the grit scale about not letting setbacks disappoint you, finishing what you begin, doing things with focus, I think that those are things I would aspire to or hope for for all our children.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Disappoint Finish Focus Girl Let Question Scare Setback Think
Grit and self-control are related, but they’re not the same thing.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Control Grit Relate Same Self Thing
Gritty people train at the edge of their comfort zone. They zero in on one narrow aspect of their performance and set a stretch goal to improve it.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Comfort Gritty People Train End Zone
Is it ‘a drag’ that passions don’t come to us all at once, as epiphanies, without the need to actively develop them?
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

All Come Country Develop Drag Need Actively Once Passion People Person
The focus on just thinking about standardized test scores as being synonymous with achievement for teenagers is ridiculous, right?
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

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I think it’s very important to send the message that, while parents are needed to remind you to practice and occasionally force you to finish things… they also need to learn to respect you. You as an individual, ultimately, are the captain of where you’re going.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Finish Force Important Message Needed Occasionally Parent Practice Remind Send Thing Think Very
$Angela Duckworth Quote - I ended up doubling the math time that a conventional school would have. But I don’t think any of these things were path-breaking or unusual.$

I ended up doubling the math time that a conventional school would have. But I don’t think any of these things were path-breaking or unusual.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Break Conventional Doubt End Math Path Thing Time Unusual
It’s a very good thing to teach kids to finish what they started in the sense of fulfilling their commitments.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Commitment Finish Fulfill Good Kid Sense Start Teach Thing Very
Some of the things we do are great, but they often have these iterations that are not great. We screw up sometimes. We get rejected.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Great Iteration Often Rejected Screw Some Something Thing
During all my undergrad years and in high school, I was involved in tutoring and public service. At Harvard, I spent over 35 hours a week doing service. I was a Big Sister, I worked for the homeless, the elderly; it was the epicenter of my focus.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

College Country During High Involve Public School Service Titoting Undergrad Year
We have found a direct correlation between grit and positive emotions, but the fact that I have no evidence that grit is bad for you doesn’t mean it’s not. It’s always a possibility that in the future researchers will discover a downside to grit.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Bad Between Correlation Direct Emotion Evidence Fact Found Grit Men Positive
Why do some people try, try again, and why do some people not? That’s what I’m after.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

After Again People Some Try
Nobody gets to be good at something without effort, no matter what your aptitude is.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Aptitude Effort Get Good Matter Nobody Something
Every day, parents and teachers ask me, ‘How do I build grit in kids? What do I do to teach kids a solid work ethic? How do I keep them motivated for the long run?’ The honest answer is, I don’t know.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Answer Build Day Every Grit Honest Kid Parent Solid Teacher Work
Negative feelings are typical of learning, and you shouldn’t feel like you’re stupid when you’re frustrated doing something. You might say to yourself, ‘I can’t do this,’ but you should say, ‘That’s great.’ That means you really have the potential to learn something there.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Facial Feel Feeling Frustrate Learn Like Negative Something Stupid Typical
Boredom is a very self-conscious emotion by definition. Interest is not. So you can actually be completely absorbed in something and, at certain points in your development, not even realize that you’re into it.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Boredom Conscious Definition Emotion Interest Self
Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Grit Life Living Marathon Spirit
Maybe. But the reality is that our early interests are fragile, vaguely defined, and in need of energetic, years-long cultivation and refinement.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Cultivation Define Early Energetic Interest Maybe Need Refinement Vaguely
There are so many things that kids care about, where they excel, where they try hard, where they learn important life lessons, that are not picked up by test scores.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Care Excel Hard Important Kid Lesson Many Score Test Thing Try
Very few people can keep going their whole life doing something and feel like it’s merely personally fascinating.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Do Fascinate Feel Few Going Keep Merely People Person Something Very
It’s also stamina in your direction, stamina in your interests. If you are working on different things but all of them very hard, you’re not really going to get anywhere. You’ll never become an expert.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Anyone Different Expert Hard Interest Stamina Them Thing Work
I believe kids should choose what they want to do, because it’s their life, but they have to choose something, and they can’t quit in the middle unless there’s a really good reason.
ANGELA DUCKWORTH

Believe Choose Do Kid Life Middle Quit Something To Unless Want

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