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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Ambrose Bierce

Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Final Funny Rich
Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Blessing Exception Leaving Money
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Animal Digest Eat Goodness Man Science
Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Country Discover Fertilization Person
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Degree Independence Intellectual
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Affair Assurance Future Happiness Prosperity Time
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Machine Technology Transformation
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Fear Hope Ignorance Known Religion
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Appearance Art Color Fools White
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Activity Diversity Equality Heart Human
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Fortune Goodness Purity Uncomfortable
Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Average Perseverance Success Virtue
Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Call Distance Poor Rich Willing
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death End Estate Himself
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Instrument Worst
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Blacksmith Cloth Kind Man

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

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Popular Authors

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