LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCERiot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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