Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCERiot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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