“To be bowed by grief is folly; Naught is gained by melancholy; Better than the pain of thinking, Is to steep the sense in drinking.”

Plant no tree sooner than the vine.

Tis said that wrath is the last thing in a man to grow old.

Wine is a peep-hole on a man.

One that hath wine as a chain about his wits, such a one lives no life at all.

Fighting men are the city’s fortress.

Not houses finely roofed or the stones of walls well builded, nay nor canals and dockyards make the city, but men able to use their opportunity.

Not well-built walls, but brave citizens are the bulwark of the city.

Brave men are a city’s strongest tower of defence.

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.

If I have one, I’ll have thirteen. No, there ain’t no in-betwee. Cuz the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink.

Learn to ignore everything anyone (including myself) has ever told you about wine protocol.

I regret starting drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and joining Facebook.

Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don’t know where the bathroom is.

I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.

I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.

I keep telling people: Don’t make me the poster boy for AA because I don’t know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking.